Happy Birthday Mom

It was a hot Michigan July. The air was full of excitement as the country prepared to celebrate Independence Day. Fireworks and family would lead the Schoenbergers into the eventful next day. On this day in 1955, Dorothy and Howard Schoenberger welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world, Donna G. Schoenberger.  I’m sure they wondered what she would be and where life would take her.

This child grew to be a striking beauty. She lived life in many areas; Michigan, California, Texas, and Colorado. Her thirst for adventure lead her to enlist in the United States Army at the young age of 17 years old. After serving for several years she decided it was time to see more new sites. Her work took her from places such as a pet shop, a “bunny” at the very first Playboy restaurant, in California. She also became a reputable court reporter but after the birth of a second child, she was forced to quit. She took her skills to the medical field and became a lighting fast medical transcriptionist. Of all of her titles she cared for “Mom” the most. Donna raised her 3 daughters on her own; she took very little time for herself and I believe that contributed to her early death.  

She would rise before the birds to begin to care for her middle child who was born with severe disabilities; one being a very severe form of Cerebral Palsy. Donna would bathe, prepare medications, administer a g-tube feeding, give Kimberly love, and began to work as she worked from home. Often times she would have more than one job. This was all done before the quiet, still home turned busy, upon the waking of the eldest daughter, Sheila and the youngest, Karly. Donna would prepare breakfast and get the 2 others off to school.

During the day a member of Kimberly’s nursing team would be at the home to take care while Donna worked. She always made herself available when the girls got home from school. An appearance to make a snack and hear about their days before getting back to work. Before long it would be dinner time and the nurse would leave. A meal was prepared and the family would gather in the living room to enjoy their meal from a tv tray. Often times a movement or noise from Kimberly’s room would require one of them to check on her.

Fast forward to December 25, 2011 the world crumbled as the loss of Donna’s life was an unpredicted event that shattered those around her. That Christmas Day ended in the most horrific result, an event that no child could be prepared for; not matter the age.

Though life has continued on, with a very large empty space, Donna is always remembered and thought of daily. Her memory  brings tears, laughter,  and comfort.

Celebration of her life will always stay consistent. I admire my mother, she gave was a soldier. She was a soldier of life and I am forever thankful and mesmerized by her strength. Though she did not leave behind a wall of trophies and recognitions she left behind something far more important to her. She left 2 daughters that she instilled the meaning of life, she taught us how to be women. To be kind and concerned with others, to be soft but to know when to be hard. She gave me the confidence necessary to create another strong woman. She gave my sister the gift of courage. She always had this way of knowing, Mom did. She knew that my big sister would face challenges larger than anyone should face. She knew she taught courage and steadfastness. I chosen to embrace the beauty that death leaves behind it.

I have chosen to believe everything that my mom taught me. I am celebrating the beauty of my life. I will always uplify my daughter. I know that I am strong enough to deal with life. She gave me strength to survive her passing and that has taught me to be like her. I have a card that she sent to me at 17 years old; I moved out to North Carolina on my own. She sent me a birthday card and she wrote inside,

                “Sometimes I miss you so much my heart hurts.”

While I appreciated the sentiment, I didn’t understand that your hurt could hurt. My heart hurts every day of my life. I no longer have the blessing of being annoyed by too many phone calls, voicemails, and early morning,

                “Just calling to see… whatcha doin!”

My heart will always be broken over her loss, that will never be repaired. The blessing of sharing love into my daughter, the love that was shared with me will always get me through.

Happy Birthday to my exquisite Mother.